In March of this year, I would’ve been living in Australia for four years.
Prior to that, I had lived in Dubai and was part of a great Church (EBCI) and had a great community of Christians around me, not to mention the fact that my sister and her family lived there as well.
Leaving those relationships behind and coming to Brisbane was hard. I had no family here and I only knew two people in all of Brisbane.
I got along well (still do) with my work colleagues and ended up becoming friends with one.
I plugged into Church without delay and that was good and I got to meet some great Christians.
While I was/am grateful for all of the above, I was still sad/struggling because, beyond the usual friendly exchanges that we’re all familiar with, I have yet to connect at a deeper level with another guy/guys. It just didn’t happen.
I am partly to blame because I was waiting for others to make the effort and contrary to my personality and character, I didn’t make a huge push for it. Part of it was that it seemed to me that everyone already had their friends they hung out with and I didn’t want to impose or seem desperate even. Secretly, I was hoping that others would understand that I have no family or connections here, that I was lonely and therefore, would welcome me into their fold.
Fast forward to 2014, I am married and have a family to look after, but truth be told, I’m still eager to connect with other guys at a deeper level. And I’m grateful that a few are making the effort to get to know me and build that connection. I’ve also decided that I’m going to be proactive and do something about it as well, this post being part of that plan.
I’ve mentioned “deeper level” a few times now. What does that mean?
This is where I would like to draw your attention to David and Jonathan. Read 1 Samuel 18 to get an idea of the deep friendship that they shared. Here’s a short excerpt from that chapter.
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
1 Samuel 18:1-3
That’s deep. Aside from the idiotic and downright ignorant insinuations that question the type of relationship they had, the truth is, they were very dear friends. They were not the kind of friends who would pass each other up in Church, smile, say hello, exchange small talk and then move on. No, these guys made a choice to connect with each other beyond the superficial and they were blessed for it, blessed by it. David was able to deal with Saul because he had Jonathan as a friend to lean on and rely on, not because Jonathan was the son of Saul.
This is the kind of friendship I long for. It’s not impossible, but it’s a choice to be made and it takes determination.
I am willing to make the choice to “knit my soul” with other guys. I am willing to be honest, humble and put my guard down so that others can get to know me. I am determined to put the time and effort to make such a friendship work.
Why? Because it’s worth it and can have a deep spiritual impact on those involved.
Men need to connect with other men beyond the superficial. We need to be able to talk to each other about the issues that matter, not just about sports or cars or whatever else. Jesus walks with each one of us, but there is no reason that we ought not to make the choice to truly walk with each other.
How wonderful it is to have true friends who don’t judge you or condemn you, no matter what you share or are going through, but instead, chooses to love you and support you and help you walk with God?
That’s the kind of friends I’d like to have in my life. That’s the kind of friend I’m willing to be.
What about you? Do you want to have that kind of friendships? Are you willing to do what it takes?
If so, get in touch with me. I’d like to organise a monthly opportunity where guys can just get together, get to know each other, hang out and get the chance to build the kind of relationship I’ve been talking about. This is beyond Church and other regular obligations. This is not another ministry. It’s just an idea.
We can all benefit and bless and be blessed by deep friendships, if we step out in faith.
God bless you.
Thank Sri 🙂